I hate rectal bleeding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am currently doing my ER month and when the pt. list with presenting problem comes up on the computer and it says RECTAL BLEEDING it is a race to be as busy as possible so you do not have to see that patient. The other senior ER residents are scary good at this. By the time I see it on the screen, it is like a ghost town and I am the lone rectal bleeding checker. Of course the patient is a 450 lb black man with an amputed left leg, due to his uncontrolled diabetes.
When you go into to question the guy and ask if he has hemorroids he does not know what that means and wants to know what kind of surgery it requires to fix. At this point I want to tell him we will remove his rectum so he can never return with the symptom of rectal bleeding and that he will have a colostomy bag which will catch all of his crap for the rest of his life and he will be required to change it himself. How do you like that because how you are feeling right now is about the same way I am with the knowledge that I have to check your RECTUM.
Anesthesia HERE I COME!!!!!!!
Glover is out got to go check a few RECTUMS.
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2 comments:
Rectum? Dang near killed him. (that joke never seems to get old.)
Glover, I know why those senior ER residents hide from the rectal bleeds. It's so they can get practice running from the room as soon as the on call intern shows up to fix their train wrecks. I hate the ED (but not you, Ken).
I too am on my friggin' ER month. The attending is always like, 'Hey, why don't you go see this guy, it will be a great learning experience.' And off I go to see the enormous train wreck of a patient. Last night I thought I would go and see a pt. at 10 PM, my shift ends at 12:30 AM. This guy had myelodysplastic syndrome, still being worked up, RECTAL BLEEDING, abdominal pain, near-syncope, congestive stupid heart failure, was hard of hearing so I had to SHOUT everything I said to him, plus he was a freaking full code, and he was nearly end-stage with his as of yet not fully worked up or diagnosed leukemia. I then called the IM doc who was going to admit him, and he wanted me to put all these orders on the chart, and he wasn't even going to come in and see him until morning! I hate the IM guys at our hospital. They are so danged lazy. Then I had to call GI, and by the time I got out of there, his belly scan wasn't even back yet, and it was two in the bloody morning. Not a fan of the ED.
-Adam
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