Time to pull a Trent

Our list had 8 people on it Friday night, and we've gotten it down to one by this afternoon. Our attendings are not on ER call tonight, so we won't get an admit unless one of their clinic patients shows up in the ER. Our last patient on the list is in the inpatient rehab, and is going home in the morning.

I maybe, just might, be able to pull a trent Shelton tomorrow and have a clean slate list. Wish me luck.

In other news, we went fishing tonight for FHE. It was fun, but we didn't catch anything. The 8 year old girl next to us on the pier caught one though. Nothing beats getting shown up by a small child.

You want some of this?

This is Maggie. Someone wanted a copy of this when it was taken. I don't remember who it was. If you want me to email it to you, let me know. If you changed your mind then, oh well.

Maggie

So much animosity!!

Ah, yes, the infamous 450 lb Mr. Rectal Bleed himself coming to the ED. He's a cousin of Harry Bunn, isn't he, Caywood? We in the ED know him well and can smell him a mile away. Yes, Dave, it's something that takes some fine tuning to get, but once you've got it, you quickly learn how to pass him off to some poor unsuspecting intern. Suddenly Sue Damonas in the next room needs her arm wound re-examined. Of course, Ralph Salot and Ben Dover are other favorites to pass off.

Sorry no one's having an absolute blast in the ED. I guess I can't say for sure how awesome the ED is here in Toledo (I don't actually get a month there until next February), but lots of interns are considering applying to the program after their month in the ED. We've got a PM&R guy thinking about changing over, and I believe there's an anesthesiologist--gasp--also thinking of switching. Me? I'm looking forward to a month of delivering babies. Gotta catch 12. That's it. 12 an' I'm out. Residency requirements. Sounds like we haven't been very busy lately, so I hope I can get them all early.

DO Scam!!

So my wife has talking to her old boss this afternoon and catching him up on the latest news of our family including where I will be doing residency. When she told him I was going to mayo he repeatedly asked if I had taken "the test all DO's have to take to get into a MD residency." My wife, knowing there was no such test, nicely tried to explain to this man that he was an idiot and to stop with his ignorance. This guy then went on for about a half hour or so about how he is 100% positive I have to take a test that will "prove to them that I am up to par with MD's" and that"I really know what it takes to be a doctor". He then went on to explain to her that until I take that test, eventhough I am already matched, I will not be able to start residency there. He pleaded with my wife that I look into this and "find out how it really works", so I don't mess up my residency spot there. If any of you have any ideas where I can go and take this test to prove I really am a real doctor please let me know ASAP!!!! I also am leaving this post to help all of you other fake doctors that have matched into a MD program know how it really works. I am so glad my wife ran into him today!!!! I knew I couldn't trust ERAS.

Rectal Bleeding

I hate rectal bleeding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am currently doing my ER month and when the pt. list with presenting problem comes up on the computer and it says RECTAL BLEEDING it is a race to be as busy as possible so you do not have to see that patient. The other senior ER residents are scary good at this. By the time I see it on the screen, it is like a ghost town and I am the lone rectal bleeding checker. Of course the patient is a 450 lb black man with an amputed left leg, due to his uncontrolled diabetes.
When you go into to question the guy and ask if he has hemorroids he does not know what that means and wants to know what kind of surgery it requires to fix. At this point I want to tell him we will remove his rectum so he can never return with the symptom of rectal bleeding and that he will have a colostomy bag which will catch all of his crap for the rest of his life and he will be required to change it himself. How do you like that because how you are feeling right now is about the same way I am with the knowledge that I have to check your RECTUM.
Anesthesia HERE I COME!!!!!!!

Glover is out got to go check a few RECTUMS.

at war with the VA nurses

i don't know how many of you have VA hospitals at your program or what your va nurses are like but here they suck. the nurses on my floor will be so glad when this month is over because every day i have to get after them for not following my orders and for why none of the lab work i ordered is drawn yet or why the EKG's i ordered at 5 in the morning are not done yet. since everything is on computers including orders i always send the nurses condescending text orders with the order sets that i fill out to let them know i have ordered something and that they will have to stop checking their email and actually follow my orders and get it done by the time i have indicated it to be done by. only two more months during this year then i will be done with the va forever. i'm looking forward to the next 9 months when i will be at the university hospital where the nurses are pretty good. at the conclusion of this rant against va nurses i want to include for your pleasure that i had a patient named harry bunn. what parent in their right mind names a child that.

whoops

um, this was supposed to go to the girls blog. Sorry, don't know how that happened...at least there wasn't anything to "girly."